Make No Mistake - Right or Wrong?

Every one of us is on a learning journey, including the most experienced and accomplished. We have teachers and coaches, we teach and coach ourselves. We teach to learn. We are our own students.

I have done some teaching and I have been a student. I was a design tutor to architecture under-graduates for seven years. I run workshops with my son teaching the foundation skills for lassoing to participants of all ages. I have spent five years practicing Aikido and Kenjutsu and about the same amount of time practicing sword-fighting with the MAHS. I am teaching myself to play a variety of pentatonic flutes from Japan, India and North America. I am four years in to learning to play African drums with KAIRA KAFO. I have spent twenty plus years learning the art of horsemanship. I spend time practicing archery, I'm up to my neck in kayaking-sailing and the song of the paddle.

So! After all that, what have I concluded?

I try to avoid making me or my students 'wrong'. Or to put it another way, I try not to think in terms of 'mistakes'.

Sounds like a bit obvious, a bit dumb? Who wants to make anybody 'wrong'?

Well, in the past I have looked for the things that are 'right' and the things that are 'wrong', aiming to 'praise the good bits' and then 'correct the mistakes'.

Which, on the face of it, seems very reasonable, no?

But what if there were no such thing as "mistakes"?

I notice that my hands are too high - above shoulder level - and I an looking left and right with my body rotation.

Here's a scenario, I'll cast myself as simultaneously the student and the teacher...

Recently I enrolled in Tim Shieff's "Way of The Rope". It's 'Wee'k 1 and I am practicing the Dragon Roll with one of his Piccolo Flow ropes, scrutinising myself in the full length wall mirror.

The mirror never lies! I notice that my hands are a little high - higher than my shoulders - and that my head is swinging from left to right, following my body rotation.

First I make a point of praising myself for the 'good' rotation in the my before going on to point out my two 'mistakes', offering 'corrections' whilst telling myself the reasons behind them.

Sounds familiar, seems normal?

I praised myself - giving myself credit and some encouragement - before making the 'constructive criticisms' and then I told myself how to 'correct' what I am doing and the benefits of getting it 'right'. Why do anything different?

Well... why focus on 'mistakes', why even call them 'mistakes'? What if there were no 'mistakes'? I look at the mirror and it looks back at me, "no mistakes" we both repeat?

Yes Charlie, get back in front of that mirror and try this dialogue instead...

Look in to the mirror, watch and feel your Dragon Roll. What do you like most about what you are doing? The way you are rotating your body? Let yourself know: "Nice, good work let's build on that!". Now, gently say to yourself "breathe out, relax your shoulders and stretch your arms out behind you to open up your chest". Feels good.? Then say "steady your head and keep a forward gaze". Do you feel more flex in your spine, your shoulders working more freely and a greater sense of centeredness and balance?

The Flow Rope flips-out, too many instructions. "Take one a step back, relax those shoulders, breathe..."

Head more focussed, shoulders more relaxed, chest more open.

No 'mistakes', no 'right' or 'wrong', no 'corrections'. A subtle shift.

Look for the good. See something that needs to progress, provide simple instructions as to what to dial-in. Take one or two steps back when things get too complicated.

When I focus on my 'mistakes' I draw our attention to them and they become a distraction - there is no benefit to being 'wrong', no need to spend time on the 'mistakes', it's just one more thing for my system to deal with.

The real priority is: what is my next step? Not thinking in terms of 'Wrong' and 'Right': 'Wrong': my hands are to high / 'Right': hands are lower than shoulders.

Merely describing the 'mistakes' could lead me down a false path. "Your hands are too high" may be the 'mistake' but lowering them may not be the 'right' 'correction'. "Relax your shoulders and opening up your chest" might have exactly the desired effect - if it doesn't then look for another way forward.